The JIS Lightbulb Joke Page

Q: How many rec.jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Search the JIS on "Lightbulb," newbie. (Dan McDonald)

Lightbulb jokes crop on rec.juggling once or twice a year. By request, this page contains all the lightbulb jokes about juggling that I know of.

In an ideal world, I'd credit each joke with its original author. Alas, a search of the JIS reveals actually there are no original lightbulb jokes -- they all sprung from the ground fully formed on the otherwise quiet afternoon when T. A. Edison's assistant walked into his employer's lab and saw three small round-ish objects lying on the table. (Okay, okay -- feel free to search the JIS yourself for credits.)

How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?

• 101. One to change the light-bulb, and one-hundred to say, "I can do that."
• 101. One to change the light-bulb, ninety-nine to say, "I can do that," and One to say, "Hey! He stole that from me!"
• Five; one to change the lightbulb, and four to say, 'I could do that if I practised'.
• None. Lucas can flash 12 in the dark.
• Two. One expert, to change the light bulb, and one beginner to say, "Yeah, but can you change *two* light bulbs."
• None. Just juggle torches.
• Two. One to change it and one to steal the idea.
• Two. Anthony, to change the light bulb, and Nick, so Anthony can ask him if he's doing it right.
• Three hundred. One female juggler, to change it, and two hundred and ninety nine male jugglers, to stand around watching her.
• One, but you need three light bulbs.
• Actually, a juggler can change 3 lightbulbs simultaneously, and experienced jugglers have been known to do 5 or 7 :-)

How many beginning jugglers...?

• Just one, but it takes a LOT of bulbs.

How many MM clones does it take to change a light bulb?

• None. They can't, they won't close their fingers around the bulb.

There is also a large collection of Albert Lucas jokes. In the interests of good taste, we'll omit all but one:

How many Albert Lucas' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

• 14 (at least, that's what he says)

There was apparently an article in an issue of Two Ply Press some years back that had a big collection of Lucas jokes.

(Would you believe someone on the net actually maintains a huge, searchable database of lightbulb jokes? And that there's a newsgroup -- alt.fan.lightbulbs -- devoted to the subject? Some people have too much free time...)