From conway@juggling.org Thu Jan 2 08:07:10 GMT 1997 Article: 39561 of rec.juggling Path: news.scruz.net!miwok!hsnx.wco.com!waldorf.csc.calpoly.edu!decwrl!nntp.crl.com!news.pbi.net!news.pacbell.net!usenet From: Andrew John Conway Newsgroups: rec.juggling Subject: Tom Hearne - the World's Laziest Juggler. Date: Wed, 01 Jan 1997 12:53:48 -0700 Organization: Ha! Lines: 116 Message-ID: <32CAC0CB.6F48@juggling.org> Reply-To: conway@juggling.org NNTP-Posting-Host: ppp-206-170-1-43.snfc21.pacbell.net Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.0Gold (Macintosh; I; 68K) J. B Priestly, in his book "English Humour" (Stein & Day, New York, 1976, ISBN 0-8128-2093-6, page 155) says "Now I have to ask myself what these variety shows gave us in terms of real humour. [...] I remember Wilkie Bard, discovered sitting on a swing as a policeman, singing 'I'm Here if I'm Wanted'; and Tom Hearne, billed as the Lazy Juggler, who would throw plates in the air and then saunter away from them, letting them smash on the stage [...]" Priestly names about half a dozen acts as the high points of humour in the vaudeville era. The only American to make the list is juggler W. C. Fields. So who was this Tom Hearne, who rates alongside fields as a comedy juggler? Here's a description of his act taken from Stanyon's "Magic" magazine, June 1903, p76. COMEDY JUGGLING During last month Tom Hearn, who styles himself "the laziest juggler on earth," gave at the Palace Theatre a very original show of comedy juggling. Stage set as a bedroom, and when curtain goes up, performer is seen in bed playing the part of the sluggard. Alarum clock rings on table and performer reaches out of bed for a stick with which clock is forthwith knocked off table. Gets up with counterpane held in front of himself, walks round and gets back into bed again. Gets up (dressed in Pyjamas) and lights candle, walks about in pyjamas and drinks out of large wash jug. Throws jug in air, and turning round attempts to catch jug, but it falls and is smashed to pieces - and the same fate is meeted out to the wash-hand basin. Placing candle in position in front of towel horse he "takes off" Chassino who makes "hand shadows" with his feet, and who appears just in front of him (see Chassino programme in our last issue.) Runs to cupboard in washstand, but door sticks, gets excited, and appears in a hurry - suddenly door opens, and he reaches inside and brings out - no ! wait a minute - only one shoe which he puts on one foot; this bit of business convulses the house. Next follows a burlesque on Sandow's home course of physical culture, all apparatus being diminutive and all exercises done in the laziest manner possible, finally he falls exhausted on bed. Next rings a bell, goes out and brings on his own breakfast. Snuffs candle with bell. Juggles dexterously with cups, teapot, etc., and gets his hand fixed in a cap, as he cannot get hand out smashes cup with a hammer, then discovers lie has cut off half of one of his fingers; (finger bent at middle joint) finds portion of finger and sticks it on again. Spins top hat round finger and other movements, finally rolling hat along arm on to head. Throws a large china vase, containing a tree 4 ft. high, in the air, turns round and endeavours to catch vase but it is smashed to pieces and performer falls over tree; and continues every now and then to fall over this tree. Next follows an imaginary act of going down into the cellar by lifting a flap on stage; done by a gradual stooping behind flap - and back again. Juggles with a plate, various movements on hand. Juggles foil and two apples, throws one apple to audience who throw it lack and he burlesques catching it on point of foil - really misses it and quickly sticks on the other apple all the time in the hand. Gets the apple he missed and does it again. Juggles three apples and catches one on fork held in mouth. Throws one to audience (a confederate who changes it for a hollow one) who throws it back thinking he will catch it on fork; it hits him on the head and smashes to pieces and he falls apparently dead on stage, finally crawling back into bed. Afterwards shows fight, gets muscle up (indiarubber ball) and fires a revolver. Works a rattle, breaks a chain, lifts a heavy (apparently) weight and throws it away (rubber). A large ball comes on stage and chases performer round, dodging him, etc., this is, apparently, on a thread or wire, it suddenly disappears and performer gets wild and fetches a hammer to hit someone. Balances a large lamp on his forehead (audience say "surely he will not break a beautiful thing like that"), the lamp falls - no! it does not break although it falls head first, i.e. on the glass chimney - it is a beautiful imitation of china and glass made of Indiarubber. Juggles three hoops in front of himself, skillfully (a la Everhart) then plays the three hoops off at one wing and you see them enter at another, but the burlesque of this latter trick is apparent when some five or six hoops make their appearance as against the three. The hoops do not stop at five or six as myriads now make their appearance from every opening--performer gets dazed and bewildered, and as a last resource rushes back into bed covering himself completely with the bed clothes; and well he does this for a shower of some fifty hoops, (the cheap light wooden variety) seemingly hundreds, fall from "flies" and smother him; and these are followed by a second and still larger shower of hoops as curtain falls. Performer, in response to a well merited encore comes out in front of curtain with his head and limbs tied up in bandages and the next "turn" wonders when, if ever, he will get a chance. Andrew conway@juggling.org